A Return to Center with MARIE RUSSEL

Your Parents are Saints

• Marie Russel • Season 1 • Episode 10

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What if the fastest route to spiritual alignment runs straight through your relationship with your parents? We go there with honesty and care—naming resentments, reframing old stories, and practicing forgiveness not as a pass but as a path back to power. Instead of debating who was right, we focus on the only leverage that changes our life today: perception. That’s the heartbeat of Yoga Off the Mat and the core of A Course in Miracles—shifting from fear to love so the past stops writing our present.

We start by mapping a simple, courageous exercise: identify three specific resentments and ask the gateway question—am I willing to see this differently? Whether the answer is yes, no, or maybe, clarity becomes momentum. A yes invites a soul lesson to embody; a no reveals the hidden payoffs of staying stuck; a maybe illuminates the support you need to move forward. We explore how dropping expectations of our parents frees everyone, how equality transforms “special” relationships into holy ones, and how honoring mother and father is really a code for honoring truth in all directions.

Along the way, we unpack why thought creates form, why pounding on the screen never changes the movie, and how to use the mind properly with practical tools: awareness cues, journaling prompts, breath-led resets, and compassionate inquiry. You’ll hear how responsibility replaces victimhood without denying harm, how inner-child care repairs safety from the inside out, and why seeing your parents as saints-in-progress can reveal the same spark in you. The result is lightness—less reactivity, more presence, and a clear channel for guidance that wants your joy.

If this conversation moves you, share it with someone who needs relief from old family loops. Subscribe, leave a review, and drop your “yes, no, or maybe” in the comments—what are you willing to see differently today?

Setting The Intention

SPEAKER_00

Greetings, I'm so glad you're here. I'm your host, Marie Russell, and this is Yoga Off the Mat. During this series, I explore how we can use the philosophy of yoga and principles from A Course in Miracles to transcend some of the seemingly difficult poses, perhaps situations, relationships, that we find ourselves in off the mat. I'll be sharing stories, tools, and practices that I've learned, sometimes the hard way, and how to live with a lot less fear and a lot more love. It's a practice in how to access all those easy, breezy feelings we have in yoga classes off your mat and in your life. It's learning how to navigate the roads of life from a place of being centered and connected to the divine. Essentially, it's a practice in aligning to the you that you love to be with. So, let's start getting real. Greetings, greetings, and I'm a stay. Thank you for being here again for another episode here of Yoga Off the Mat. And in this podcast, I wanted to talk about our parents. I really believe that healing our relationship to our parents is a major step forward in spiritual alignment. It's a major step in terms of growing into the man or the woman that you want to be. And even if you believe you don't have any issues with your parents, I think that sometimes they show up in peculiar ways. And so in this podcast, I thought it might be interesting for us to break down some of the ways that this might show up in our lives, our relationship to our parents, and really simple way in which we can shift the energy and realign to a more equaniminous. Is that a word? More equal way of existing in our relationship to the two humans that are literally responsible for you being here. Now let's start at like worst case scenario and work towards best case scenario. Okay. So worst case scenario, you were born in a situation where one of your parents did not want you. Yeah, that's a hard one. Really worst case scenario, you have a parent who let's say uh there was some sort of abuse. Okay, and we've worked with all sorts of students in our teacher trainings, and I've worked with private clients as well that are really working through some heavy stuff here. Okay. I almost said S-H-I-T. And then I thought maybe there are children around, which I kind of hope they're not. Can I just say that that in these podcasts, I really think that we're talking about some serious content, and I may slip up, I may say a bad word. But even if I don't, I just think that not only is this time for you to really focus and listen and be, you know, open to perhaps some content that you know you want to hear, but are not always so excited to hear about. And not only that, that it's time for you to really go inward. And so so much of our time in terms if you are a parent is is in service to the children. If you're a business owner, it's it's in service to your business. If you're in a relationship, it's in service to your relationship. But when you listen to this podcast or any other information that's meant to enlighten and enliven your day-to-day experience, it really is about you tuning in and it's just for you. And I say that from personal experience of trying to like listen to content well, you know, my daughter's asking for eyeshadow, or, you know, can I have a banana? So put your ear pods in and yes, be available to your people, but do your best to really just be present. I think that that's super helpful because again, some of this content is a little bit rich and it takes a moment to really be present with it. Yeah, podcasts are different, right, than like just having music on in the background. Okay, that disclaimer being said, I will do my best not to swear, but if I do, please be mindful of little people around. All right, so yes, we have worked with people that are dealing with all sorts of real nastiness as it relates to their relationship with their parents. And I can say this, that when those humans who have had those really deep experiences, and we've all had deep experiences with our parents, whether they had to do with abuse or not, but when those people are courageous enough, and I say courageous, I really chose that word specifically, to move through that from an adult perspective, to move through the process of forgiveness with a parent who behaved in a way that was just unacceptable by all sorts of standards. There's something that happens to that person. There is a lightness that happens, there is a lightness that kind of takes over their field. And it's like any type of healing. Let's, you know, when you break a bone and it and it's stronger afterwards. It's like that. When you look at the areas that are broken in your past and your relationships, and you heal them in the present moment, which is what time is for, time is for healing. And we so much bring our past into the present moment from a place that's not healed, which means our experience of life is being dictated by that experience in the past. And even if it's super like buried really deep and really well, there is still something that is coming into the present moment, a resonant field, a vibration, a cautiousness, a trigger that we might not even know comes from that past wound that hasn't been healed. So another reason that healing our relationship to our parents is so essential is really kind of basic and biblical. I mean, if we look at the Ten Commandments, honor your mother and your father, honor thy mother and their father. It's not because, you know, they're right and you're wrong, you know, it's not that old kind of hierarchy or submissive way that we might have interpreted this commandment in the past. If you if you grew up in a Judeo-Christian background, there may have been some emphasis on you have to listen to your parents, they know better. And okay, yeah, absolutely. In some ways they did know better. You know, you have to wash your hands, you've got to eat healthy food. You know, they taught us the things that they thought we needed to know. And a lot of times what happens in our adulthood is we wake up, even sometimes in our teenage years, you see a lot of like pushing back of parents. And that's pretty natural for a lot of us that, you know, we're starting to really decide for ourselves what we think is important. And sometimes our parents are spot on and sometimes they're not. Right? I mean, sometimes they're just not. And when we look at this commandment and wanting to honor our parents, I look at it from the perspective of yoga off the mat and from the Center of Excellence Coaching. It's more for you. It's not that they are right and you are wrong. It's just that when you hold on to they were wrong and you are right, like when we flip it. And I've done that for years. I've had this self-righteousness around all sorts of things, around my upbringing, around my religious background, around relationships, you know, all sorts of things where we're like, no, I'm right and you're wrong. That vibe is not healthy. I mean, that vibe is part of the problem. So when you look at the commandment of healing your relationship or honoring your mother and your father, it's honoring them by looking at all of the events and circumstances that have transpired between you, the conversations, the things that you liked and you didn't like from a much wider perspective. Okay. And from that wider perspective, when you get right, when you honor your parents, when you focus on what they did right rather than what you think they did wrong, it allows you to come back into that equality again, where there isn't it isn't about a special relationship. Of course, a miracle speaks about special relationships, where it's like someone is better than you or someone is less than you, or that person can get away with speaking to you in a way that you don't like because they're your partner or your parent or your child or whoever they are. That's special relationships. And what we are seeking to implement in our own lives and in the world, guys, like this is major, is something very different. And that's a holy relationship. And a holy relationship is where there's equality, where there's unity, where there's communication. And that can only happen when we start to detach from the forms that make it special. Okay. And the forms that make it special are our attachments to our versions of the story, our grievances around the relationship, our resentments around the relationship, our judgments around the relationship, and so forth. So that commandment is so powerful. They're coded messages. They're like, look, it's gonna be really hard for you to be the parent you want to be while you're resenting your your own parents, okay? Or it's gonna be really hard for you to be the partner you want to be if you're resenting how your parents showed up in their partnership. So, what we seek to do in these practices is to unpack all of those resentments and those grievances in a way where we're moving out of the density of those resentments. Okay. So here's a way that we can do this. Your parents are saints. Actually, we're all saints, pretending that we're not, based on all of the things that we've learned as we've, you know, moved through this experience of life and kind of added all this baggage to it. At some point in your adult life, you're like, ah, gotta get rid of some of this baggage. And the way that we do this in the practices that I've been tuned into is in forgiveness, is in this process. So if your parents are saints and you trust that and you're gonna be like, okay, there was stuff that went down that was not cool. And I'm willing to see it through different eyeballs. Okay. It would behoove you then to look at three major resentments that you have in your relationship to your parents, okay? Three things that that happened that they did, that they said, that went down, that just when you think about them right now in this present moment, you feel like puking, you feel like yelling, or you feel like hiding, or you feel like avoiding, or whatever that like whatever comes up that's not love, that's not grace. If you're willing to look at that and write that down, three things I can promise you, that on the other side of this is so much more grace, so much more power, and so much more love. All right. So go ahead and write those three things down. You might even pause this podcast and return to it. When you come back for each one of those three resentments, look at your willingness to let it go. It's like, what if one of your resentments was, I resent, and here's something really, you know, light, okay? I resent the fact that, you know, I don't know, something. My mother doesn't answer my test, my texts in in time, or she avoids serious conversations. I'm just totally making stuff up right now. Or what if it's something super dark and heavy? I resent the fact that, oh, I don't even want to say it out loud on the podcast, but I resent that I was uh mistreated as a child. Okay. The question comes to us all from this great wisdom and this great intelligence. It says, Are you willing to see this differently? And you have three answers, options, okay? You can say, Yeah, I'm ready. Yes, I'm ready, 100%. Let's do this. I'm willing to see this differently. The answer might come with a substantive substantial no, a big one. S oh no, we say in español. S oh no, no way. And then you might have another option that's maybe maybe if you can show me some benefits. I might be willing to let go of my version of the story of being mistreated or not being responded to in the time that I want, or avoiding emotional contact. Okay, I'm willing to see this differently. So let's look at the willingness to see it differently for emotional content. Let's say that your answer is yes. Yes, I'm willing to see this differently. You will then receive a lesson. You know, you can look at, all right, what is the flip side of this? What is my soul lesson here? What am I, what do I want to learn from this? If I'm willing to see it differently, is there something I can embody? And what's coming through for me right now would be if the resentment was that your parents or your your mom, let's say, avoids emotional intimacy. You know, are you, if you're willing to see that differently, what is it that you can offer? Because what I've learned through all of this spiritual content and study is that whatever's missing in the relationship is what you are not giving to it. And this is where we talked about in a previous podcast, responsibility comes forward, like self-responsibility. And if you are at the effect of others' behaviors, then you're disempowered. You're a victim of other people. And as an adult, I mean, one of the benefits of being a grown-up is that you can be responsible and you can change your experience. So if your experience of victimization, if you're experiencing something that you don't like, if you believe you're at the effect of something outside you changing to happen first, and we've talked about this before, that's a high price to pay. That means you can't change it. But if you're willing to see it differently, then you're willing to change the way you perceive it, which is what a miracle is, a shift in perception, then you get to be empowered. Hi, friends. Wanting to dip in here and invite you to marie russell.com and have a look at the Trust Project. This is such an exciting offering for us at Yoga Off the Mat and for me as a facilitator. These next 10 months in this trust project are going to be about learning how to embody characteristics that are innate within you, that are characteristics of your authentic self. The Course in Miracles calls them the qualities of God's teachers. So it also says that we're always teaching. So it's not about if you're a yoga teacher, then this applies for you, and if you're not, you're not. Everybody's a teacher and everybody's a student. We interchange roles constantly throughout the day. So this project is really about looking at these 10 characteristics. And how to really start to sit in your seat of wisdom, learn how to trust that love is real, learn how to be honest and consistent, learn how to be tolerant without judgment, learning how to be gentle, how to be joyful, how to be defenseless, how to be generous, how to be patient, how to have faith, and how to be open-minded. So when I first came across these, they just really blew my mind. I have been studying them for a number of years now, and I just really felt like now was the time to really get over myself on another level and support our community in embodying these qualities on a whole other level. The world needs us right now, and we are leaders. Whether we want to be or not, I really believe that there has been this call resonating around the planet for humans to really evolve. And this project is about supporting you and supporting the community and really stepping into that place where you are centered, where you have some tools, where you have a way of looking at trust as your foundation. See you there. You know, what is your attachment to getting it from this one person? You know, as we step into more equal standing with our parents, you know, we lessen our expectations of them to be everything in our lives, you know, to to show up the way that we want them to. And when we let go of them showing up the way that we want them to, it's almost like they show up in such a more brilliant way. And I've seen this in my own life. It was like if I let go of what I think you should say and how I think you should show up, I actually start to see how you do show up and what you do say. And I can see the brilliance in that. It's really kind of interesting how these things work. When you let go of controlling the situation, which is what the resentment and the grievance is about. You feeling like you're not getting what you need in the moment and being really attached to it and then being upset about it, when you're willing. To let that go, you look at it and you're like, wow, well, I can be open to other relationships that might be able to serve emotional intimacy. Or if you really sit with it, maybe your soul is really wanting you to connect to your higher voice. And maybe you always looking outside yourself is part of the problem here. So maybe the soul lesson is more journaling or more practice, more yoga practice, either on your mat, maybe it's looking for a coach, you know, someone who's neutral, who can just listen and you can trust is not going to judge you. That's a huge part of what I loved about my own mentoring relationship was that there was such a neutrality there. She sat in the seat of being just totally neutral. Whereas sometimes parents, you know, it's difficult to do that. They're they're really invested in you. They're invested in you, in your greatness and you showing up. And sometimes, you know, they're not invested in that. But it's for you to decide what you want. And it's for you to be responsible for your experience and to refrain from blaming others and blaming what happened in the past for how you're showing up right now. Okay. So when you look at your resentments and you're willing to let them go, then you receive a soul lesson. If you have a resentment that came up for you that you're just not willing to let go of, then that's fine. Maybe you come back to it in a week or even a couple days or maybe a month. But I want to ask you this if you're not willing to let it go, what are the benefits of holding on to your version of the story? Okay. And so many times when it came to like the really dark and heavy stuff with folks, it was like they were holding on to I was abused. And it's true. Like I'm I'm not gonna say that that didn't happen, okay, but I am gonna say that that happened in the past. And are you willing to heal the emotional impact of that experience? Because if you know that you're not your body, okay, and that's a that's a deep one and requires probably three or four podcasts, we could break down like that whole statement, you're not your body, identification, self and spirit identification. That whole that whole story is a fun one for me. I love it. But if you know that you're not your body, okay, and there was something that went down that was not cool. As an adult, you have the capacity to heal your inner child. And you can show up as the man or the woman that holds the space for that inner child that was not safe to find a new level of safety in the present moment as an adult, to hold your inner child, to nurture your inner child, to look beyond the person who was the abuser as being a bad person, to seeing maybe they were abused, or what was it in their psychological setup that allowed that to happen and for that to be okay for them? You know, when we are going through, and the whole world right now with this whole virus business is going through such a transformation. And we are looking at things from a very different perspective collectively. And so many folks that I that I worked with have been really healing some of the stuff that went down in their past and looking to remove it from their field of energy because every time they look at it, it's a bummer. Like every time it comes up, it's a bummer. So if you're holding on to your version of the story, what are the benefits of holding on to it? Well, I feel disempowered, I feel disgusting, I feel anger, I feel sadness, I feel, you know, all of those things. And you go, well, do you want that? You know, like, do you want to feel like that right now? And always the answer is no. At least intellectually we know that, but our bodies are so programmed to feel those emotions. But the healing's got to start in our minds. We've got to say, you know what? No, I don't want that anymore. So, yes, okay, fine. I'm willing to see this differently. And then you start to receive the divine guidance that's present for you, that wants you to see things differently. And why does it want you to see things differently? Is because it wants you to experience joy. It wants you to experience happiness and freedom because that's your natural inheritance. That is your divine gift, that's your divine right. And we say this in yoga classes all the time, right? May all beings everywhere be happy and free. And what we want to be free from is all of this karma, all of this garbage, all of this inherited BS that is just yucky and nobody wants anymore. We don't want to be violent, we don't want to kill each other, we don't want to abuse each other, we don't want to be violent towards each other. We want to be connected, we want to unite in freedom with each other, we want to free other people from our judgments of them. And we want to free ourselves from healing those vibrations, because again, if we if we're the ones holding the judgment and the resentment and the attachment to our version of the story, ideas don't leave their source. So you gotta feel that vibe. And if you don't want to feel that vibe, you've got to change your idea about it, right? Big time. And then, you know, for the ones where you're like, maybe I'll see this differently, just kind of dig around a little bit and say, look, what are some of the benefits? And I can guarantee you, spiritual qualities that come through when we work through forgiveness are beautiful, straight up. They're like, you know, such beautiful gifts. It was like where I used to be resentful of my mother here, I am willing to see that differently. And I could see that her intention was for me to be empowered. And then if I live in that soul lesson, instead of like, oh, that hurt my feelings, then wow, do I have a level of gratitude here? Thank you so much. Because I detached from the emotional impact. And so much of our body's like emotional imprinting happened when we didn't have the mental capacity to understand things. You know, our frontal lobe is not fully formed until we're in our mid-20s. And evidence is showing, you know, the science coming out right now is really interesting because it's basically saying we're not using our frontal lobes properly. We're not, we don't know how to use our minds properly. And that's so in alignment with the Course in Miracles content, with Yoga Sutra's content. It's like we are not using our minds properly, and our minds are so powerful, and we can't change that. We can only change the direction and the voice that we align to. All thought, guys, is gonna create form on some level. So if we're thinking thoughts of a lower density, it's gonna create form on some level. The form could be, you know, an estranged relationship, it could be discomfort, it could be a physical ailment. It's gonna create something because thought is the essence of consciousness. I mean, it's like the magnitude of consciousness, the science of consciousness is just like, you know, and I'm just tapping the surface here, but what I'm trying to say is that we need to use our minds properly. We need to use and learn how to use our minds from a higher place because we get stuck in what the yogis call these cycles, these samsaras, these cycles where we're just resentful and judgmental and upset and afraid, and then it's chaotic. Then the experience and what we project onto the screen of our lives gets to be something we don't want to see anymore. But we can't change what we see on the screen of the movie by going and like knocking on the screen. We have to change the projection we've which is our mind, which is shifting our perceptions, and that is miraculous mindedness. That that's miracle-mindedness is learning how to shift our thought forms from fear to love, from resentment to soul lesson, being willing to take that journey into the heart, into the wisdom, which, you know, the yogis used to say your mind is actually in your heart. And what what I'm learning with all the science is that actually each center of your body has its own mind, has its own uh connection to universal intelligence. So when you start to work with forgiveness, when you start to work with changing your mindset and in the moment looking at, oh wow, I'm in resentfulness, I'm in a loop, I'm in a judgment loop, when you realize you're in the loop is when you start to change. So it's this awareness that's so powerful when you start to realize, oh wow, I'm here. And then you look for ways to heal that. How can I change? Am I willing to see things differently? It's such a powerful statement. You say, yes, I'm willing to see things differently, and then you do see things differently. But to see things differently means you're seeing it from a different mind, from a higher mindset, because your subconscious mind is all programmed by the past. And so for us to create a future that's different from our past, we need to connect with our higher mind so that the forms that we create from our higher mind will be much more pleasant. And it and that's really what spiritual practice is all about is aligning to your higher mind, your supreme consciousness, so that when you create, because you are a creator, you can't change that. You're creating thought forms and thoughts create forms. And wow, they can be really powerful sometimes. Fear, fear is just as powerful because your mind is powerful. But when you create from your supreme consciousness, when you're like, look, man, this show sucks. I don't like this show anymore. I need a different show. When you say that, you start to open doors. And again and again, I've I've just seen the miraculous happening, happening, happening in my own life and in those of I have the privilege of working with, where when you're willing to see things differently, it's like a flood. You open this little window and all of this light comes pouring in. And it's just about us learning how to work with this light, how to create with this light, how to understand it, and how to trust its guidance. And that's a big one. So that's my wrap for you guys today. So much love to you. Let me know what where you land in the comments with this. I really want us to look at our parents as saints and to have a level of redemption here, to really believe in the fact that that people can change, especially given we're willing to see them differently. So, so much of the problem is that we hold people to their past and we don't believe that they can change. And it doesn't mean that you need to be the one, you know, sitting by them as they work through their own stuff, but you hold the potential in your heart and in your mind that there is a spark of light in this person and they're a saint. And when you see that in them, you begin to see it in yourself. Okay. Lots of gratitude for you all, and I'll see you soon. Namaste. Hi, loves. Can I ask you for a favor? If this content has provoked some kind of emotion in you, energy emotion, either yes, that's so good, or I totally disagree with that. Either way, would you leave a comment? Would you do some kind of like little rating business in iTunes or comment on the website? That would be really awesome. I don't necessarily know why I'm asking you for that. I just know that we're supposed to do that in these types of podcasts. I guess it helps to get your message out there and to demonstrate that there are actually people who are listening to your rap, your riffing. So, anyway, if you have a moment, share it, uh, send it out, tag me in social media, take a little screenshot and tag me. I guess that's what we're supposed to do. So there it is. Would you do me a little favor? Love you guys. Bye for now.